Features
- O Canada!
- Words from The Top
- Are You There, Mega-Vibe 6000?
- If Everything in Life was Like Having a Girlfriend
- Trial Transcripts from the ADD Court Stenographer
- Pre-Jection
- The Windian Beneath My Wings
- Sherlock Holmes Meets CSI!
- Zagat Survey 2005
- “Finally! A Beer For My Active Lifestyle!”
Newsflashes
- Hurricane Katrina Devastates Girls Gone Wild Franchise
- Kobe Bryant OK’d to Penetrate Again
- US Troops Unaware of Facebook Support
- Everything Dave Matthews Does Now Annoying
- Chimpanzee to Star as Next Triple X
Top Tens
- Top Ten Things Sadder than Playing World of Warcraft
- Top Five Worst Ways to Plan Your Vacation
- Top Three Failed Self-help Books Written by Kobe Bryant
- Top Ten Scheizer Films
- Top Five Things Chewbacca has Mistaken for a Female Wookie and Had Sex With
- Top Ten Toilet Training Methods of the Future
- Top Ten Worst Suicide Attempts
- Top Ten Signs your Boyfriend is a Zombie
- Top Ten Worst Excuses for Cannibalism
- Top Ten Wholesome Fun Things to do in People’s Park
