Top Ten Signs your Boyfriend is a Zombie

Cheated on you with your sister … who’s been dead for 15 years
Spices up sex with strawberries, syrup, and cow brains
id software keeps asking him to come in for some motion-capture sessions
Picnic in cemetery on first date, charming. First dinner with parents in cemetery, creepy
Moans before, after and during sex
This guy with a gun would’ve killed him for sure if he’d only remembered to shoot off-screen to reload
While watching Night of the Living Dead keeps saying
Cant dance unless the song is thriller
Rigamortis in all the wrong places, baby
Blurs fine line between gentle nibbling and cannibalism