Warning : Trying to access array offset on value of type bool in /services/http/users/s/squelch/wp-content/plugins/search-everything/config.php on line 29 top ten | The Heuristic Squelch
Shaking hands
Fully clothed chicks
Not talking to anyone
George’s slutty girlfriend
Getting rejected
Slightly out-of-shape people
Rolling in a small pile of ones
In-store credit
Drive-thrus
Masturbation
… Read More
Kurt Vonnegoat
Woodchuck Pahalniuk
William S Burrowing Owls
Flannery O’Condor
Thomas Python
Emile Zebra
William Falconer
Ernest Lemmingway
David Foster Walrus
J.R.R. Toucan
… Read More
You’ve been in college for three years and you STILL haven’t been to a frat party
Emma doesn’t answer your phone calls anymore
You gave Emma a love letter on her wedding day
You’ve asked other women out but you … Read More
You’re easily amused by a list about how you go to UC Berkeley
There is a big bell tower in the middle of your campus known as the Campanile
The school newspaper is called the Daily Cal
Your school is … Read More
We Bought a Zoo
A Siberian Tiger Film
Saola, or the 120 Days of Sodom
Altered Snakes
Apocalypse Cow
Capybara Holocaust
Persian Blue Velvet
A Clockwork Orangutan
Zero Dog Thirty
Naked Mole Rat Lunch
… Read More
Mumford & Sons
Waka Flocka Firebombing of Dresden
Gym Class Hiroshima
The National Socialist
Michael Bubonic Plague
Child Soulja Boy
Trail of Tears for Fears
Outkastration
Passion Pits
Animal Abuse Collective
… Read More
Bill Clinton
Jimmy Eat World Carter
Millard Fillharmonic
Theo the Doors Roosevelt
Woodrow Whistlin’
Thomas Jefferson Airplane
Andrew Jackson Five
Baroque Obama
Harry Trumandolin
James K Polka
… Read More
Hearst So Good
Haas School of Dirty Dirty Business
DilDoe Library
CockRoads Dining Commons
Scissor Gate
Bulge School of Law
Kama Sutrardja Dai
Muff-it Library
Squealer Auditorium
Bang Center
… Read More
When you’re not exotic enough for Papyrus
Toddler obituary
Quirky high school teacher’s Powerpoint presentation
Your iCarly spect script
When Windings just won’t cut it
Funeral announcement for people you hate
Ironic tattoos
When your roommate’s paper is due in … Read More
Seeing the first Onion-American baseball player hitting a home run
When your onion goes into a coma and becomes a vegetable
When you remember the Great Onion Genocide
Seeing red and green onions living in harmony
When your pet onion … Read More
