Tag Archives: top ten

Top Ten Funnest Ways to Die

  1. Mercilessly beaten to death during karaoke
  2. Mainlining too many Pixie Stix
  3. Crushed in structural collapse of bounce house
  4. Nerf war escalation
  5. Heart attack after eating McDonald’s for forty years
  6. Falling out of an upside-down roller coaster
  7. Eaten alive by puppies
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Top Ten Dog Pickup Lines

  1. I just threw up! Wanna see?
  2. [furious panting]
  3. You make me wish I hadn’t been neutered.
  4. Do I smell dog feces and urine on you? Because you’ve been rolling around in my mind all day.
  5. What’s your sign? Mine’s “beware
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Top Ten Totalitarian Children’s Books

  1. Curious George Disappears After Asking Too Many Questions
  2. Redistribution of Treasure Island
  3. The Big Friendly Gulag
  4. Goodnight, Coup
  5. Alice’s Adventures in the Rhineland
  6. The True Story of the Three Capitalist Pigs
  7. Cloudy With a Chance of Rations
  8. Our Glorious Leader
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