- Mercilessly beaten to death during karaoke
- Mainlining too many Pixie Stix
- Crushed in structural collapse of bounce house
- Nerf war escalation
- Heart attack after eating McDonald’s for forty years
- Falling out of an upside-down roller coaster
- Eaten alive by puppies
- Drowning in a ball pit
- Suffocating under a pile of naked ladies
- Run over by a clown car
