Top Ten Ways You’re Wasting Your College Years

  1. You’ve been in college for three years and you STILL haven’t been to a frat party
  2. Emma doesn’t answer your phone calls anymore
  3. You gave Emma a love letter on her wedding day
  4. You’ve asked other women out but you just spend the whole date thinking about Emma
  5. When you made eye contact, she saw right into your soul
  6. The smell of her hair reminded you of a summer’s day
  7. You knew Emma was the most beautiful woman you’d ever meet but you still didn’t ask her out
  8. You sat behind Emma in section but spent the whole time gazing at the back of her head
  9. You’re not on a first name basis with workers at any pizza joint
  10. You’ve never skipped class to do anything more fun