Michael Moore Decides to Run

In a move that will certainly shake things up a bit in the upcoming presidential election, documentary filmmaker and left-wing activist Michael Moore has finally decided to go for a much-needed jog.

The incident comes as a surprise to many of the nation’s top Democrats. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) commented, “Shit, I didn’t even know Michael Moore had legs.”

Republicans such as Hell’s very own Bill O’Reilly applauded the event, hilariously noting, “It will be nice to have less of Moore.” A man in Feldspar, Ohio then laughed.