August 21, 2007
Dear Tenants,
I hope you have enjoyed your first couple weeks at Parker Street Apartments.
However, we do have just a few reminders and requests:
-In an effort to reduce foot traffic, we are requesting that you … Read More
August 21, 2007
Dear Tenants,
I hope you have enjoyed your first couple weeks at Parker Street Apartments.
However, we do have just a few reminders and requests:
-In an effort to reduce foot traffic, we are requesting that you … Read More
When I was a little kid I always thought my life would get better and better and better. Well has it? Let us compare.
Mornings
Me at 6 : I wake up early for cartoons!
Me at 16 : I … Read More
Lately, I’ve been wanting to get good and fired. It’s just one of those things that I want to try once before I die, like meth…again. I’ve been brainstorming ways. Here are a few:
**Propose a ‘Cleanest Pussy in the … Read More
Reply to: 9634890095@craigslist.org
Posting : I’m a horny big black woman desperate for some cock.
Translation: My name is Eddie Murphy and I just want to get back into my big black woman costume I used in Norbit. I … Read More
Berkeley attracts homeless people like sluts attract Chlamydia, only sluts can treat Chlamydia, while we are left to deal with the itchy discharge that is the homeless. Every homeless man, woman or dog uses some weep-story tragedy to try to … Read More
Using the English Language
Hung-over: When hung-over, complex words like “uhhhhhhnng” are often hard to pronounce. You are light-headed. You feel like you might vomit. You do vomit. You try to tell one of the workers at Jack-in-the-Box … Read More
Host: Hey, welcome to the morning show. Time right now is 6:32 pm.
Crazy Horse: They call me the Crazy Horse because I’m crazy about… wait, what?
Host: [… Read More
College students are poor…unless you’re me, then you’re really fucking rich. As a student, I too have to deal with problems, but I cope with them in a different, much wealthier way.
You: I stayed up all last … Read More
Your mother’s dead. Sorry, I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. Regardless, here are some tips for giving bad news so that next time her death won’t be such a buzz-kill.
Make it into a … Read More
Sasquatch, the mythological creature believed by
many to be the missing-link between man and
Serena Williams, was discovered inside a
Chewbacca costume at a Star Wars role-playing
costume party last Thursday night.
Sasquatch made
a booming entrance into the party … Read More