Would You Rather Be Hung-Over or Over-Hung?

Scenario One:

Using the English Language
Hung-over: When hung-over, complex words like “uhhhhhhnng” are often hard to pronounce. You are light-headed. You feel like you might vomit. You do vomit. You try to tell one of the workers at Jack-in-the-Box that you just puked, but much to your chagrin neither you nor he speak English very well. You puke again.
Over-hung: If you’re toting around a large cock you only need to know how to say two phrases: “Oh Yeah!!!” and “Ouch, I think my back is broken from carrying around this 42 lb cock.”
Winner: Over-hung

Scenario Two:

Going out in Public
Hung-over: You walk outside and are instantly perplexed by mankind’s invention of sunlight. You suddenly hate everything, including the pants you forgot to put on.
Over-hung: Even if you remember the pants, they never fit like they do in the ads.
Winner: Hung-over

Scenario Three:

Trying to get Laid
Hung-Over: For some reason, the women in Denny’s at 11 am on a Saturday don’t generally want to go back to your place. You try to download porn but your computer screen is brighter than gazing on the true form of God. You rub yourself vaguely until you realize it would take less energy to just go back to sleep and hope for a wet dream.
Over-Hung: Fitting your sexual device into a vagina is like pushing a subway train into an ant’s ass hole. You try several times with several different women, but can’t get the pieces to fit. Finally you meet Shamu.
Winner: Hung-over, but only ’cause it’s not the original Shamu

Scenario Four:

Driving a Car
Hung-Over: My dear lord, you’re still drunk. You scream this revelation to your passengers, laugh and then realize the elementary students in the bus you’re driving don’t quite understand or appreciate the joke like your drinking buddies would. You crash into a parked building.
Over-Hung: You drive a Ford Focus to undercompensate for your abnormally large penis. Legroom is an issue. Occasionally, lack of a sunroof.
Winner: Hung-over

Scenario Five:

Getting Drunk
Hung-over: The best way to eliminate a hangover is to keep drinking. You just wish you knew what you were getting yourself into when you started drinking at a Pink Floyd concert back in 1977.
Over-hung: Getting you drunk is nearly impossible. When you drink it’s like drinking for two if one of you is a huge, oblong pickleman. Heroin is more your style; with a cock that big, finding a vein is never a problem.
Winner: Hung-over

Overall Winner: