A Parent’s Guide to Your Daughter’s Future

A growing problem among young girls in the U.S. is their tendency to set low goals for themselves. The seeds of underachievement can take root in little girls as young as three or four and can often be seen in their games of pretend. We’ve provided you with a few sample scenarios to be on the lookout for.


Suzy: Okay, you’re gonna be the beautiful princess that everybody loves, and I get to be her maid, who wears stinky, ugly dresses and sweeps all day long and cries because no one loves her.
Becky: Not again! Why do I gotta be the princess!?!
Suzy: ‘Cause it’s my house and Mommy says I can do whatever I want. Now you go wait for Prince Charming while I go wash the King’s socks. In the moat. Filled with my tears.


Suzy: Happy Valentine’s Day, Johnny! I baked you a dozen cookies!
Johnny: [Looks in heart-shaped tin] Oatmeal raisin?
Suzy: I’m so sorry! I’m a terrible girlfriend!
Johnny: Becky always made me snickerdoodles.
Suzy: Want me to touch your foo-foo?


Suzy: [Holds doll, shakes finger furiously at it] I can’t believe you, Baby! If it wasn’t for you, Daddy would have loved me and married me and we’d have lived happily ever after! [Sits doll in high chair] Well Missy, whaddaya have to say for yourself?
Doll: [Remains motionless]
Suzy: [Under breath] Mommy needs another Camel Wight.


Suzy: Oh no! There’s a big fire in Kalamazoo and everyone’s going to die unless I go right now and save the day!
Becky: Too late. My boyfriend already took care of it.
Suzy: [Sighs] Can I be Lois now?


Suzy: How was your day, honey?
Johnny: Great! I made 23 cents more than you did!
Suzy: Wow! How can I make more money?
Johnny: You can’t.
Johnny: [Hands Suzy a quarter] Here, go treat yourself to a pretty pink gumball.
Suzy: Johnny, you know I’m watching my carbs!


Suzy: My turn!
Johnny: Girls can’t be doctors!
Suzy: Why not?
Johnny: ‘Cause you have to know math and science and stuff.
Suzy: That sounds hard. [Pause] But I can marry a doctor!
Johnny: Suzy, you and I are just friends. Now get back on the gurney.

Hopefully after reading this guide, you do not recall seeing your own daughter playing any similar games. But in the case that you have, understand that starting a college fund may not necessarily be your top priority. In fact, it’s probably a better idea to simply cash in those savings bonds now and buy yourself something nice. Like a Colt .45. Or a son.