Veteran Weeps Uncontrollably

The fragile remains of local auto mechanic and Vietnam veteran Jacob Renwood’s feeble grasp on reality disintegrated Thursday night during a commercial for a Vietnam-themed video game. “It brought me back,” sobbed Renwood, lamenting his lost youth, “you know, to the suffering.”

The game’s designers, who describe the game as “pretty realistic,” spared no expense in recreating the actual experience of being a foot soldier in Vietnam. “We aimed to create a battle simulator that was like life,” said designer Karl Smarts, standing in a pool of veteran tears, “mission: accomplished.”