- All your leeches are dead
- Your ears are so stopped up it sounds like the doctor keeps saying “cancer”
- Tums cause you to explode
- Your throat is so sore you don’t even want to eat brains anymore
- It’s autographed
- Ebola-ridden chimps won’t hang out with you anymore
- Someone sends you a “May It Come Swiftly” card
- Doctor keeps trying to zip up the bag over you
- After nine months, you give birth
- It speaks with a dignified British accent
