Volume 14- Issue 5 Top Ten Signs Your Common Cold Isn’t So Common February 1, 2005 top ten All your leeches are dead Your ears are so stopped up it sounds like the doctor keeps saying “cancer” Tums cause you to explode Your throat is so sore you don’t even want to eat brains anymore It’s autographed Ebola-ridden chimps won’t hang out with you anymore Someone sends you a “May It Come Swiftly” card Doctor keeps trying to zip up the bag over you After nine months, you give birth It speaks with a dignified British accent
