Minorities Underrepresented in Area Porn Collection

Alta Plaza Park, San Francisco. Children
run, play tag, shriek as they climb on the jungle
gym. Some are Chinese, some Hispanic, others black
and others white. It is not hard today to look at
a model community such as this and assume that
there is nothing wrong with racial relations in
the United States. Yet even now, many areas are
still insufficiently integrated. One such region
resides on the hard drive of student Brian
McGuirk, at the University of California,
Berkeley.

“It is amazing to me that today, 40
years after Brown vs. BOE, less than 3% of people
in the blurry, highly compressed files are
identifiable as African- American,” comments UCSB
professor Howard Long, currently writing a report
on the collection for the Cato Institute. “Sure,
reactionists may point to the most visible icons
of Afro success–the Halle Berry’s, the Lil’ Kims,
the single well-hidden photo of Vin Diesel- -but
the fact is that when it comes to basic,
no-holes-barred fucking, virtually none of the
barely-18 fuck-sluts in question are of African
ancestry. And don’t even get me started on
American Indians or Pacific Islanders.”

Defenders of the collection have responded
fiercely. “Admission to this hard drive is
strictly merit-based,” pontificated Tucker Carlson
on The Situation, “In America, all hot, hot,
bodies may not be created equal, but they should
all have equal freedom for their digitized visages
to be feverishly milked off to. What do you say to
the girl who has worked long hours sewing her
cheerleader costume and suppressing her gag reflex
but is passed up for a less-qualified slam-pig
simply because of her skin.” Ironically, McGuirk
has been no less than a crusader for racial
coexistence since the very day he got broadband.
“Why else is the collection 25% Asian?”

“These ‘Model Minorities’ have little relevance to the
issue at hand,” countered Long, “The reality is
that while there may be plenty of Hong Kong Sluts
Going Nuts, Hispanics by and large still find
themselves Fucking For Their Green Card.”

McGuirk could not be reached for comment.