Features
- I Get Arrested. A Lot.
- Pen Pals
- The Continuing Adventures of Bi-curious Frankenstein
- Intelligent Life?
- Scenes from a World Where Everyone Has Extra Lives
- Magical Realism from the Point of View of an Oppressive Misogynist Culture
- The University of California at Berkeley and Vista Community College: A Study in Dichotomy
- Scenes from <i>Stand and Deliver</i> If It Took Place in an Upper-middle-class High School in the San Fernando Valley
- Words from the Top
- The Real Wonder Years
Newsflashes
- Stupidity Mistaken for Wittiness
- Problem Found
- Man Wraps Worldly Possessions in Cellophane
- <i>Garden State</i> Soundtrack Gets Local Man Laid
- <i>Pirates of the Caribbean</i> Party Results in No Booty
- Band’s Death Leads Baltic Region to War
- Mike “The Bomb” Yu Held for Questioning
- Hipsters Rally Around Bush
- Man Wasting His Life by Enjoying It
- Tragedy Befalls Guinness
Top Tens
- Top Ten Classes No Longer Taught at Cal
- Top Five Reasons Old Yeller Had to Die
- Top Ten Converted Rock Bands
- Top Ten Misogynistic Rock Songs
- Top Ten Scientist Pickup Lines
- Top Ten Lesbian Candies
- Top Five Song Lyrics Rejected by Johnny Cash for Not Being Tough Enough
- Top Ten Second-rate Magic Tricks
- Top Ten Disney Blaxploitation Films
- Top Ten Most Comfortable Ways to Die
