<i>Garden State</i> Soundtrack Gets Local Man Laid

Josh Newbin, a Berkeley junior, got laid last night solely because of the Garden State soundtrack. The album, featuring soul-wrenching songs from such artists as The Shins and Frou Frou, is known to give those listening to it an aura of intellectual indieness that many find appealing. It is also known to make panties drop.

“My game usually falls apart once I get girls back to my apartment,” Newbin noted, “but now I just put on ‘In the Waiting Line,’ say something deep about life and destiny, and let the good times roll.”

Josh’s lay, Cal sophomore Amy Bluth, described him as “really sensitive” and “different from the other guys” she’s slept with.

“He just seemed so concerned with the world, like he was thinking about so many things and only able to express them through his choice in music,” said Bluth.

Added Newbin in a cell phone call to his roommate, Alex Podesta, “Dude, I just got my dick wet.”