WOLFMAN: OK. I never…accidentally drowned a little girl while picking flowers.
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! Frankenstein have to drink AGAIN!
THE MUMMY: OK, my turn. I never…made out with someone of the same sex. [Drinks]
FRANKENSTEIN: Frankenstein not know GAA does cuddling count?
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! What happen? Last thing Frankenstein remember is building beeramid!
WOLFMAN: Relax, Frankenstein. Nothing happened. You just crashed in my room.
FRANKENSTEIN: Whew. Wait! Where Frankenstein’s pants? Arrgh!
GIRLFRIEND: Frankie, is this your exfoliant in the bathroom?
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! Maybe?
GIRLFRIEND: Don’t be embarrassed. I just never realized you were a metrosexual.
FRANKENSTEIN: Wait! What you mean? What you hear?
GIRLFRIEND: Frankie, the term “metrosexual” just refers to a man who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance, or uses lots of cosmetic products.
FRANKENSTEIN: Frankenstein read book say period of exploration normal! Not mean anything!
GIRLFRIEND: I’m sorry. You’re not a metrosexual, OK, Frankie?
FRANKENSTEIN: Frankenstein’s skin made from corpses! Low relative humidity make Frankenstein’s skin dry out! Arrgh! [Pause] Details for Men is perfectly fine magazine!
RAVER: This E is hitting me hard.
OTHER RAVER: Here, drink some water.
FRANKENSTEIN: Whoa, Frankenstein so high. Any you boys want hand massage?
RAVER: Um, that’s OK, Frankenstein. I think you broke that other guy’s hand earlier.
OTHER RAVER: Come on, Frankenstein, let’s go dance! Put on the strobe light.
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! Light flash so fast! Arrgh! [Breaks strobe, kills DJ and ravers, runs through wall and out of warehouse]
DRACULA: Frankenstein, I vant to suck your blood.
FRANKENSTEIN: Arrgh! Frankenstein not into that!
DRACULA: [Pause] Vant to vatch me vack off?
THE MUMMY: Thanks for having us over to the castle, Frankenstein.
INVISIBLE MAN: Yeah, thanks. This plasma TV rocks.
THE MUMMY: What movie did you get? Dawn of the Dead? Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
FRANKENSTEIN: [Hands over DVD box]
INVISIBLE MAN: Y Tu Mam+A- Tambien???
FRANKENSTEIN: Frankenstein hear cinematography excellent. [Pause] At least watch until diving board scene, OK?
[Torch-wielding mob advances on castle]
MOB LEADER: We must destroy the inhuman monster! He is an abomination!
MOB: Yeah! Kill him!
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: Just because his lifestyle is different than yours, you need not persecute him!
MOB LEADER: Wait, no, you misunderstand. We object only to the murderous rampages and wanton destruction! Frankenstein’s personal life is none of our business.
MOB: Yeah! Respect his privacy!
MOB LEADER: [Pause] Besides, doesn’t he have a girlfriend?
DR. FRANKENSTEIN: You’re bigots, all of you!