Features
- The Mailman Doesn’t Deliver on Sundays
- Short Conversations
- Words from the Top
- T.S.M.I.T.W.
- A Guide to University Speech Codes
- The Three Investigators and the Adventure of the Dead Pope
- If Every Problem at Cal Could Be Solved with a Form Letter
- O! The Perils of Democracy…Throughout Time.
- Health Care for the Streets
- Welcome Week
Newsflashes
- Michael Moore Decides to Run
- President Killed by Useless Jigaboos
- Birgeneau Straight Burns Hisself with Crack Pizzo
- New Cola Remedies Human Condition
- Student Literally Has Mind Blown
- Man Successfully Programs VCR
- Students Rewarded for Showing Up
- Kerry Went to Vietnam to Kill Babies
- Voting Deemed “Out” by <i>Cosmo</i>
- New Chancellor Cares Via Mass E-mail
Top Tens
- Top Ten Things to Do to Piss Off an Anti-Semite
- Top Four Possible Titles for William Hung’s Second Album
- Top Five Morally Ambiguous Acts
- Top Ten Most Important Questions Answered by the Internet
- Top Ten Porno Movies Starring Celebrities and Secretly Sponsored by Car Companies
- Top Ten Signs You Aren’t in Oscar Contention
- Top One Way an Amputee Puts on Pants
- Top Ten Things Overheard on the Set of a Bad Porno Movie
