Guy 1: Hey, looks like we ordered the same omelette.
Guy 2: Good taste! [laughter]
Guy 1: Mind if I join you?
Guy 2: Not at all!
Guy 2: My parents were murdered when I was sixteen.
Guy 1: ShGAA [drops fork] fuck, you mean like GAA
Guy 2: Yeah, like Batman.
Girl: Hey, why are the ice cubes in your drink bigger than mine?
Guy: Read Dianetics.
Law Student: I want to be a lawyer, but a contract lawyer, not a criminal lawyer. I’d rather deal with money than moral ambiguities.
Med Student: I want to be a veterinarian, but a teacher, not a practicioner. I’d rather deal with money than horse pussy.