Birgeneau Straight Burns Hisself with Crack Pizzo

That crazy fool Bobby Birgeneau cold burned his dumb ass with a hot crackalack pizzo, it was reported yesterday. The new chancellor fell asleep on his sofabed after cooking hell of sweet yellow rocks.

“Fuck! Hrumfuck!” Birgeneau yelled after scalding his cheek. After recovering from a hot alarm clock, Birgeneau described the experience as heck of janky. “Heck of janky,” he added. He then heated up some more crissies and straight chilled.

Reports that he was thinking of funding BAMN were unconfirmed as of press time.