Features
- Last Words of Old People
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- KJNK 104.2 FM
- How I Met My Identical Twin Brother
- Being a Rich Student Isn’t all that Easy
- Which Is More Useful: A Female vs. a 16th Century Map
- From the Notebook of Ben Hoffman, Child Anthropologist
- The Many Lives of That Douche
- Silver Lining Those Clouds of Death
Newsflashes
- MONEY: Argentina Discontinues Use of Kitten Currency
- Popular Children’s Books Recalled
- Interview of the Week
- Viewership Soars as Baseball Reveals Bold Plan
Top Tens
- Top Fifteen Slightly Less Dangerous Things
- Top Fifteen Signs Your Wife is Cheating on You with a Horse
- Top Twenty Top Ten Lists Containing the Entry “Laser Penis”
- Top Ten Civil War Nouns as Made Vaguely Inappropriate by a 10 year old
- Top Ten Signs Your Tech Support is a Dominatrix
- Top Five Reasons to Furiously Beat Off
- Top Ten Signs Your Head is Going to Explode
