Deaf-mute Goes Over Cell Phone Minutes

For the fourth consecutive month, eight hundred anytime minutes with free calling after nine and on weekends proved too minuscule a plan for deaf-mute Keith Bagley’s gregarious lifestyle.

Though Keith cannot talk or hear, he still spends much of his free time pushing the cell phone’s buttons, throwing the phone to the ground, and kicking it up and down the street.

Keith’s mother, Meredith Bagley, has tried several times to take the phone away from Keith, but he protests by yelling “DAAAAAAP” at a deafening volume, pressing numerous buttons, and kicking his phone up and down the street.

Nancy Bagley, Keith’s grandmother, has been the victim of several of his phone calls but doesn’t mind receiving them: “The sound of the phone grinding along the ground while Keith yells ‘DAAAAAAAP’ in the background is actually quite soothing. I’m very lonely.”

Keith has incurred an extra fifty-cent fee per overtime minute for being friendless.