The San Jose Airport Hilton was the scene of a tragedy Thursday, as fifteen people were attacked by a wayward bear. The Alaskan Kodiak, escaped from a nearby zoo, became enraged when numerous “furry” fetishists tried to have sex with it.
“Furroticon ’05,” as it was dubbed by organizers, was an otherwise peaceable gathering of faux-bestiality enthusiasts. Moments after the 1800-pound bear entered the convention hall, no fewer than four people wearing crotchless animal costumes tried to initiate intercourse with the very real animal.
The convention, a meeting of people with sexual fetishes for people dressed in animal costumes, was declared “a disaster” by attendees. After repeated attempts by the furries to copulate with and/or on the bear, it became enraged and started mauling nearby people.
“Sure, I wanted to fuck it,” said convention participant John Fordham. “But as soon as I waved my dick around to signal that I wanted to have sex with a stranger dressed like a bear, I knew something was wrong.”