Friends Worried About Joe

Local pedophile Joe Flagherty has started to lose interest in his illegal hobby and is drifting away from his pedophile friends.

Flagherty recently purchased the Sony Playstation 2 and Xbox game consoles to add to his colorful candy-filled living room, which he has dubbed “the rosebud trap” for its propensity to attract neighborhood boys. But he’s found himself more than a little distracted by his newest baits.

Explained Flagherty, “I dunno, I guess I’ll get back to raping children soon, but have you played that NFL 2K5 game? The graphics are great, and with the voice chat features, I can hear the sweet, sweet erotic sound of children’s voices anytime I want.”

Friend and fellow pedophile Quinn O’Connor expressed concern. “If this sort of thing could happen to an old crib-rider like Joe, it could happen to anyone. Pretty soon guys are gonna stop wearing their super-thin pedophile mustaches and we’ll barely even see each other except around the playgrounds.”

O’Connor went on to suggest that Flagherty’s natural affinity for the games is due to his excellent hand-eye coordination, developed by years of holding children down while simultaneously unfastening his belt.