If Relationships Ended Like 8-Bit Videogames

You: Honey, I’m home–what are you doing with that letter?
Her: [reading from letter] THIS RELATIONSHIP IS OVER.
You: What the fuck? I put all this time into it and all I get is a lousy note?
Her: PRODUCER – TAKESHI AKANAWA. PROGRAMMER – GO
SAKASHI.


You: Look Samus, this just isn’t working out.
Samus: Well, since we’re done, there’s something you should know…
[takes off helmet]
You: W–wait, you’re a hot girl?!
Samus: If you’d dumped me in under three hours you could have seen me in a bikini.


You: Darling, I love you very much, but I–I’ve met someone else. I’m
so sorry.
Her: Oh yeah?! Well remember when I said you were the best I ever
had?
You: Uh huh…
Her:

| 1. TOM…25,357 pts
2. STV…21,366 pts
3. BOB…17, 245 pts
4. ASS…14,453 pts
5. AAA…12,495 pt
6. ENTER INITIALS
Winners don’t use drugs. |