Top Ten Worst Suicide Attempts

  1. Moving OUT of New Orleans
  2. Sticking head in easy bake oven
  3. Throwing self in front of inactive volcano
  4. Hanging self with bungee cord
  5. Killing someone else
  6. Slitting wrists w/ electric razor
  7. Jumping off large building onto less large building
  8. OD on suppositories
  9. Marinating self and taunting vegetarian bear
  10. Drinking poison&the band