Bush Calls for Draft

In response to the growing violence and anti-American sentiments in Iraq, the conscription of young American men is needed, said a rhododendron on the west side of the UC Berkeley campus.

The bush shouted his right-wing sentiments as loud as he could, but was heard only by what he called “tree-hugging pussies.” The listeners in question called the bush a racist and continued their veganism with extra zeal.