Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder-suicide Pact

According to police, it was probably an ongoing relationship of an “intimate and bestial/insectoid nature” between a common honeybee and a Mr. Darrel Motts that led to the deaths of both earlier this week.

“We believe that the frustration of their
sexually deviant union built until they both
were driven into a desperate madness of some sort. Motts probably talked the bee into
penetrating his flesh, thus injecting him with
the sweet venom of her lower thorax. This, of
course, sent him into anaphylactic shock and
ripped her barbed stinger from her body, killing them both shortly thereafter.”

Motts’s family expressed confusion and regret, while representatives of the bee’s hive stated that said drone was “defective” and that its inhabitants would “SWARM ALL WHO OPPOSE THE HIVE.”

Motts’s last words were said to be, “Holy God I’ve been stung by a bee and I’m fucking
allergic! Jesus God somebody call an ambulance!”