Egg Donor Ad Way Too Specific

Berkeley women interested in giving the gift of life to a childless couple in exchange for cold hard cash were upset Friday to find the Daily Californian’s latest egg donor ad impossible to satisfy. The ad read as follows:

“Loving couple seeks egg of double-jointed half-Indian/half-Irish woman able to ovulate on command. Must have SAT score between 1491 and 1499. ACT scores not accepted.

“Must be in my History 7b discussion group and must share a first name with a famous brand of fruit. Should not eat parsley or enjoy water sports during ovulation.”

When asked if she would respond to the ad, Chiquita “Blackfoot” O’Leary cracked one of her many joints and then remarked, “Nah, they’d never pick me.”