Last night in London, Thom Yorke, famed vocalist of rock group Radiohead, gave birth to what appears to be seven strong and healthy ferrets. The baker’s half dozen of rodents were delivered live on stage during a particularly spastic rendition of Radiohead’s hit song “Paranoid Android.”
Witnesses say that in the midst of a haunting ululation of post-modern ennui and despair, Yorke rolled onto his back, exposed a fleshy sac where his reproductive organs were thought to reside, and proceeded to “birth” ferret after ferret to the horror of the capacity crowd.
In interviews given after the show, a virtually glowing Yorke expressed his joy at the blessed, but unexpected arrival. “I’m a mom! I’m a mommy! What the hell am I doing here? I’m late for gymboree,” Yorke said.
Mere minutes after the concert, the internet was flooded with bootleg audio recordings of the screaming ferret birth, which Rollingstone.com immediately hailed as “not as good as their old stuff.”
While Yorke would not reveal the identity of the father, it has been suggested that it is, uh you know, probably some kind of ferret.