European Geography Clarified

At a formal European Council meeting yesterday, Sweden and Switzerland confirmed what many Americans have long suspected: they’re both really the same country.

For years Europeans had scoffed at Americans who confused the always-neutral Swiss with the oft-noncombatant Swedes, but now apathetic American teenagers with poor spatial geography skills will have the last laugh.

Asked to comment, one such teen remarked, “What? Where are you?”