Kobe Bryant OK’d to Penetrate Again

Lakers Star Shooting Guard Kobe Bryant was cleared Wednesday by a Boulder, Colorado council to penetrate again. Fans of the 6-time All Star noticed his lack of penetration last season, complaining that he would settle for outside jumpers far too often.

“I was just really worried because of the whole stigma from the R-A-P-E trial, you know?” said Bryant, “but this season, I’m back and at 110%. When I want to penetrate, no one can stop me. I’ll tear through the defense and take it hard right to the hole. Over and over and over again.” Adding, “Can I say that?”