Top Ten Do-it-yourself Abortion Kits

  1. Eggbeater
  2. Feminism
  3. Fake drowning and a CPR class
  4. Fishing pole with baby food on it
  5. Macgyver
  6. Specially trained hamster
  7. Bernoulli’s Principle
  8. Turkey baster full of chili oil
  9. Two days, a TLC camera crew, and $1000
  10. Abstinence and a time machine