Hurricane Katrina Devastates Girls Gone Wild Franchise

As residents of The Big Easy rolled up their sleeves in preparation for the long process of rebuilding, others pulled their halter tops down and packed away their beads. With New Orleans in ruins, officials claim the annual Mardi Gras festival will not be held in 2006. Accordingly, Girls Gone Wild Productions (Nasdaq: TITS) has issued a profit warning to shareholders forecasting record low video sales for Q2 2006.

“Mardi Gras was our bread and butter, it was our Christmas,” CEO Joe Francis said at a press conference, “and now it’s even worse than Hanukkah.” The extremely popular Girls Gone Wild series of videos has always focused primarily on the raucous events of Bourbon Street. “A two cent string of beads makes a girl show her goods for a video that makes millions of dollars,” the CEO continued. “They’re mostly Mass Comm majors.”

Despite the company’s new financial difficulties, the production house was determined to assist in the hurricane relief efforts. “In the following months we’ll be putting on a show of support for the hurricane victims and their familes,” Francis said. “The black censorship strips visible on the television advertisements for Girls Gone Wild, Catholic School Girls Gone Wild, and Prices So Low You Know These Girls Have Gone Wild series of videos will all be extra black. Like, way black. You know, for uh, symbolic..stuff.”

When asked about the company’s future Francis bleakly said, “We can always just go back to ASU.”