Top Ten Rabbinical Pickup Lines

  1. “I’m gonna make sure that your bat mitzvah is one to remember.”
  2. “Do you like bondage? By the way, I’m a rabbi.”
  3. “I like my pussy like I like my matzo: free of yeast.”
  4. “I’d take you to Palestine for our honeymoon, but it doesn’t exist.”
  5. “You’re gonna be burning for eight days when I’m done with you.”
  6. “Are you Israeli? Because your ass Israeli making me horny.”
  7. “Kosher? I barely knew her.”
  8. “Is that a shofar in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?”
  9. “You remind me of my mother.”
  10. “I’ll show you why this night is different from all other nights.”