Famed singer Morrissey, formerly of The Smiths, has written a song containing neither irony nor sarcasm. The new single, slated to kick off his forthcoming album, is called “I Actually Drive a Jaguar” and should hit radio airwaves in late November.
When asked about the track, Morrissey said, “I don’t always have to be spiteful and depressed. Sometimes it’s just nice to do something different.” Immediately after the interview was published, Smiths fans all over the world gathered together and crowded into Jaguar dealerships to mope about being all alone.
A promo copy of the song includes such lyrics as “I drive a Jaguar and I live in Malibu. I’m rich, rich, rich. Sooooooooo sad…to not be rich, rich, rich like meeee.”