- Newsweek ranked it #153 based on AP “Silently Assassinating Lord Toranaga of the Ponzu Province” Scores
- Teachers predominantly Dutch
- Chuck Norris gives commencement speech EVERY YEAR
- Professor of Stealth: Jimmy Cymbal-Shoes
- Other ninja schools consider you a ninja party school
- Mascot = goose with penis stuck in a mousetrap
- Classes mostly involve watching The Karate Kid on Laserdisc
- School colors are hot pink and fluorescent yellow
- They’re busing in minority ninjas from other districts
- Large class size
