Top Ten Signs You’re in a Bad Ninja School

  1. Newsweek ranked it #153 based on AP “Silently Assassinating Lord Toranaga of the Ponzu Province” Scores
  2. Teachers predominantly Dutch
  3. Chuck Norris gives commencement speech EVERY YEAR
  4. Professor of Stealth: Jimmy Cymbal-Shoes
  5. Other ninja schools consider you a ninja party school
  6. Mascot = goose with penis stuck in a mousetrap
  7. Classes mostly involve watching The Karate Kid on Laserdisc
  8. School colors are hot pink and fluorescent yellow
  9. They’re busing in minority ninjas from other districts
  10. Large class size