Volume 5- Issue 5 Volume 5, Issue 5: Squelch Constitution May 1, 1995 issue FeaturesThe Meaning of Humor
Volume 5- Issue 4 Volume 5, Issue 4: Valentine Aftermath February 1, 1995 issue FeaturesEat Drink Man WomanThe Squelch Video GuideApplication for THE REAL WORLDRim AnticsLetters to the EditorsAsk BuffyBiased, Fragmented Political CoverageLove My WayColumns are StupidHistory of Valentine’s DayNewsflashesSpace KilledAmericans KilledBig WallDental DamnationAsshole Speaks!Meat of the MatterTien TremulousTop TensTop Ten Rejected Smurfs CharactersTop Ten Failed Business VenturesTop Ten Words Not To Use On Your ResumeTop Ten 1995 XXX Video RentalsTop Ten Things to Masturbate WithTop Ten Features We’d Like to See on the New MacintoshTop Ten Rejected Plastic SurgeriesTop Ten Books in the Bible You’ve Never Heard ofTop Ten Alternative Names for Valentine’s DayTop Ten Things to Do After Giving Head
Volume 5- Issue 3 Volume 5, Issue 3: Pete Wilson: Alien December 1, 1994 issue FeaturesGuide to Berkeley Coffee HousesBoy, Was My Face Red!!The Epistle of St. Mark the SecondLike, uh, Finals and StuffAre You White Trash?Squelch-cipiesRamble on…Da, Comrade!The True-Life Adventures of SherriStressed?NewsflashesGraduation plans modelled after basketball ticket salesTop TensTop Ten Rejected Cal Construction ProjectsTop Ten New Car FeaturesTop Ten Reasons We Won the Big GameTop Ten Outtakes from John Wayne Bobbit UncutTop Ten Benefits of AC TransitTop Ten Not-So-Famous Last Words
Volume 5- Issue 2 Volume 5, Issue 2: The Rolling Squelch October 1, 1994 issue FeaturesWhat They Say / What They MeanPre-date ChecklistDate Emergency CardThe Writing on the StallSEX: The Heuristic Squelch InterviewImportant Dates in HistoryWet Shins & Other SinsHerb Came columnRaves
Volume 5- Issue 1 Volume 5, Issue 1: Abbey Lane Cover September 1, 1994 issue FeaturesNursery Rhymes for the ’90sIt Only Hurts the First TimeLo-CAL Course AnnouncementsEnglish Majors: An Abomination Unto the LordGorillas In Our MidstShort ConversationsAnother Saturday Night with Dave BarnettBuilding the Promise Photo EssayBased on a collection of true stories…Ask BiffNewsflashesFelines in Uproar over “Lion King”Letters to the Editors“Crane for a Day” Winner SelectedNKOTB Toughens ImageClassifiedsTop TensTop Ten Reasons to Invade HaitiTop Ten Things Overheard On USAir 427 Before ImpactTop Five Uses for L & S DegreeTop Ten Things Daily Cal Reporters do the Other 5 daysTop Ten Star Trek SpinoffsTop Ten Reasons to Stay in the Dorms Another YearTop Ten Reasons to Get Really FatTop Ten Events at the Stoner OlympicsTop Ten Misdemeanors at Engineering DormTop Ten Things to do in the Substance-Free-Dorm
Volume 4- Issue 5 Volume 4, Issue 5: Secret Sproul Architecture March 1, 1994 issue FeaturesApril Fool’s Day AnticsA User’s Guide to ZenVoice of the Squelch Past:Dysfunctional Bay Area Driving Really Pisses Me OffLetter from the EditorsTwo types of peopleBest of Squelch ClassifiedsThe Truth About…Income TaxRob a Bank for the RegentsThe Odd CoupleNewsflashesPolo Team Under FireOakland Airport BombedPart of Information Superhighway Collapses in LA AftershockClassifiedsUC to Go Co-EdSchlongen Denied TenureASUC Declares War on South AfricaTop TensTop Five Places You’ll Never Find a Fratboy InsideTop Five Things Neil Armstrong Might Have Found on the MoonTop Five Complaints of Local Pizza DeliverersTop Five Reasons Oompa Loompas are OrangeTop Ten Optimum Times to Shout “By the Power of Grey Skull… I Have the Power!!!” at the Top of Your LungsTop Ten Alternatives to Pot BrowniesTop Ten Oscar Nominated Adult Films of 1994Top Ten Hardest Things For A Guy From Alabama To Adjust ToTop Ten Things Said at Jesus’ CrucifixionTop Ten Reasons We Fought the Civil War
Volume 4- Issue 3 Volume 4, Issue 3: Axe Stanford December 1, 1993 issue Top TensTop Ten Things I’d Do if I Could Go Back in TimeTop Ten Most Annoying Commercial CharactersTop Ten New LA Commute TacticsTop Ten New Releases at Tower RecordsTop Five Items Mistaken for ToothpasteTop Ten Signs that a New National Crime Bill is NeededTop Five Ways to Be Cool Without Physiological DamageTop Five Things Overheard on Tele-BEARSTop Ten Ways You Can Tell the Person Fondling Your Genitals Isn’t a Doctor
Volume 4- Issue 2 Volume 4, Issue 2: Weekly World Squelch! October 1, 1993 issue FeaturesMy Trip To Peir 39