Lo-CAL Course Announcements

The University of California at Berkeley is proud to announce a new series of courses specifically designed for Stanford transfers, rear-entry students, football players, Llama-Americans or any students desiring an easier “A-“. The program has attracted some of the finest professors worldwide from Yrecka to Tijuana. Students should make sure to take advantage of these great educational opportunities before the University’s accreditation is reviewed this coming Spring. The following is a brief listing of some Lo-CAL courses which will be offered during the Fall 1997 semester.

Anatomy 1 -- Exploring our pee-pee's (3)  

Students in this course will learn about human anatomy with hands on experience in a comfortable, non-shaming environment.  (R. Schlongen)  

Asian Studies 131 -- Bruce Lee...the Legend Continues (3)  

Students will explore both Bruce Lee's acting abilities as well as hands-on training in ass-kicking.  (B. Lee)  

Astronomy 109 -- Beyond the Milky Way (3)  

Students take an in depth view of the galaxies of Star Wars, Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica.  (H. Solo)  

Classics 140 — Learning Pig Latin (II)

A non-intimidating introductory class that will help you jump from "OuYay eakSpay igPay atinLay?" to "Veni, vidi, vici," in no time flat.  (K. Fuc)  

Computer Science 936,376,231 -- Nintendo vs. Sega (4)  

From Zangief to Sonic the Hedgehog, we live in a world where technology development is out-pacing human comprehension. Reading will include owner's manuals and game instructions. Some attention will be played to prominent historical figures including Donkey Kong and Pac Man.  (Dr. Mario)  

Development Studies 2 -- Why/Where I'm getting hair (3)  

For those dealing with those first frightening follicles, we will analyze the process of hair growth not only on the head but also in the nether regions. Topics will include peach fuzz, pubes, and lice. Class work will consist of lectures and labs will focus on close inspection of students' hair.  (Cy Sperling)  

English ABC -- Alphabet a-m (2)  

From "Ant" to "Meritoxis"  (Professor Dick)  

English NMO -- Alphabet n-z (2)  

From "Nut" to "Zoo"  (Professor Jane)  

French 210 --  

Section 01- Fries (3)  Section 02- Bread and Toast (3)  Section 03- Kissing (3)  Explore the only good things we got from France, aside from Lady Liberty.  (J. Cousteau)  

Geography 46 degrees N -- Where's Waldo? (4)  

That little mountain boy has plagued us for ages. Is there any solution to this enigma? This class will focus on methods of investigation and discovery of the missing legend. Course will consist mostly of field work and close readings of required texts.  (J. Compass)  

Greek 82- Chugging (4)
You think you know how to drink? You don’t know shit, frat boy! After this class, you’ll be downing that keg 10 minutes flat. Impress your friends. (A. Keystone)

History 1994 -- Yesterday and the day before (5)  

Fool proof memory tips for those of you who cannot remember anything but the the present. Class begins with “what happened to me five minutes ago” and ends when the last 48 hours are more or less clear. (F. Kronos)

Human Biodynamics 101 — The Physics of Farting (1/2)
Overcome societal inhibitions regarding the natural act of breaking wind. Learn to exemplify and amplify the release of natural gas with a smile. (B. Wind)

Mass Comm 25 — The bullhorn and you (4)
Learn the finer points of making your ideas heard through the miracle of amplification technology. Be loud, be proud! (L. Bigmouth)

MCB 3 — Putting to use the extra Y-chromosome (4)
Learn to suppress your feminine side and scratch yourself at random intervals. (Ms. Ogynist)

Near Eastern Studies 1 — Intro to Concord (4)
Explore the mecca over the hills. (W. Trash)

PACS 117S — “Yo mama” jokes (3)
Sample: Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, it doesn’t look back! Bet you haven’t heard that one before! Would you like to know more about the history of this and other “Yo mama” jokes? Come on, yo mama wants you to. (A.D. Clay)

Rhetoric 200 — I know you are but what am I ? (4)
Can you write a 200 page paper on this single phrase? Well, it’s time to learn. This class is required for all graduate students of Rhetoric. Class taught by creator of this powerful, influential phrase. (P.W. Herman)

ROTC 24 — Killing people and breaking things (1-12)
Learn to hate everything. Must be taken in conjunction with ROTC 50: The smell of Napalm in the morning. Charlie don’t surf! Note: course credit depends on willingness to be brainwashed. (C. Kurtz)

Spanish 69, 79, 99 — Exploring the Taco Bell menu (2)
“Meximelt y un Pepsi, por favor” and other useful phrases. (L. Richard)

Women Studies 90 — “Why I’m not so fresh today” (4)
To douche or not to douche: the eternal question. Also explore the politics of the yeast infection. (G. Lotrimin)