In the aerospace industry, the measurement of stress is a high priority objective. In light of endless manhours devoted to this research it may seem surprising that there are no effective human stress scales available commercially. But this exciting field has also seen new developments that will soon become part of our everyday lives.

  • Measurement has always necessitated conversion of stress into some other detectable energy form. The Zumdahl test involves exposing students to simulated Organic Chemistry exams and measuring the decibel level of their screams.
  • Stress causes physiological changes that can be easily detected. For example, one can lift a test subject by the ears. Do they hang comfortably limp? They are relaxed. Do they flail wildly and scream obscenities? They are experiencing stress.
  • Urine can give us important clues. Is it bright yellow and high in caffeine? Is it all over the toilet seat or bathroom floor? Both of these are positive indicators of stress.
  • A stressed person will appear pale and may behave in a cold manner. It is important not to confuse a stressed person with a dead person.
  • You can try the following “litmus test” on your friends. Take a friend to a scenic location like the Golden Gate Bridge. Tell your friend the following scientifically developed phrases and when they jump, you know you’ve found their stress level!
    Stress Level vs. Sci-phrase
  1. I’m sorry, the final was yesterday.
  2. The good news is that we can guarantee 100% remission in 7% of our patients.
  3. The deadline is in three hours, write something funny
  4. I think it’s available in Beta.
  5. Did I ever tell you I slept with your ex? Before they left you?