Raves

Albacore tuna with dolphins has always been a favorite at the Limbaugh household. Granted it doesn’t pack the punch a steriod-enhanced piece of USDA beef does, but my friends, if you want protein and you want to kill those dolphins, (they always get in the way when we go fishing) there’s nothing better. Have to maintain that physique.

For hobbies, a friend recently introduced me to the world of ultra-leather domination & bondage. You know, it’s really a kick. And that’s what Americans like. It appeals to that Calvinistic/Puritan streak in all of us. We all would like to pay a woman to affect an English accent as she flagellates us. God knows I love it.

My favorite offering from the big screen would have to be the first hour or so of Schindler’s List. Those poor Jews. But, oh well. They had their chance.

Something I do that my viewing audience doesn’t know about: well I’ve always felt more like a Rushlin than a Rush, so you won’t catch me not wearing my favorite electric-blue Ferragamo pumps as I rant obnoxiously on the E.I.B.

Without a doubt, “Straight Outta Compton” has to be one of the finest albums to emerge in the history of the industry. The shit is raw. The poetry and lyricism of N.W.A. moves me to tears each time I listen to it. Another one of my fave-raves is Ricky Nelson. A fine musician and an even finer Aryan.

For mood altering, I definitely prefer Prozac. First, it’s a brand name item that you can trust. Second, it’s infinitely respectable. Just try and find a politician or someone in the corporate elite or the military- industrial complex who’s not on it! As for other drugs, my favorites are children’s Tylenol, for the neat orange flavor, and Percodan, because it makes me feel pretty.

Although William F. Buckley Jr. likes the Koreans, I personally prefer the old standby, the Chinese. Great potstickers, and excellent launderers. How can you go wrong? Also, unlike the Japanese they don’t go around corrupting the economic stability of this great nation.

What does the single most listened to radio personality in the history of broadcasting like between the sheets? Personally, I prefer being on top, usually so I can watch my bulk engulfing my wife. Occasionally I’ll acquiesce to her requests and masturbate quietly in the rec room.

Well, obviously my three books have to take top honors: The Way Things Ought To Be, See, I Told You So, and my latest, due to arrive this November, White Makes Right.