Volume 5- Issue 1 Top Ten Reasons to Invade Haiti September 1, 1994 top ten Manifest Destiny. Find magic voodoo potion for Hillary’s hair. Clinton itching for Caribbean harem. To release pent-up frustration from health-care fiasco. To stave off impending invasion of U.S. We’re bigger than they are. Re-assert world dominance through crushing defeat of entire crack 23-member Haitian military. To insure Republican victory in ’96. It’s closer than Bosnia. Need island retreat to keep Gore daughters tan ‘n’ succulent.
