- Come up with flattering ways to describe most recent Cal football loss.
- Invent goofy personals ads.
- Laugh about Josh’s hair.
- Try to find humor in NO EXIT cartoon.
- Go back to their regular jobs at “Hooked on Phonics”.
- Practice showing their ID to get into Eshleman Hall.
- Masturbate.
- Send top investigative reporters to cover breaking events at Berkeley High.
- Stuff Discover Card inserts into 100,000 newspapers.
- Participate in sacrificial rites sponsored by Students for the Truth
