Meat of the Matter

Washington, D.C., Nutritional Science researches at FDA headquarters have officially released their most recent findings. The scientists have conclusively determined that Bologna is made of You-don’t-wanna-know. Bologna, which American youngsters aged 3 – 8 consumed at a rate of some 190,000,000 tons last year alone, has now effectively been consigned to the You’re – scared – you – ate – that – shit – when – you – were – a – kid list.