Date Emergency Card
Date’s Name ________________
My Name ________________
Blood type: A B D – O AB Cold
Conversation Topics for the Conversation – Impaired
Topic "Say this in a polite even tone" Culture "Did you see 90210 last night?" Religion "I really love Jesus." History "I'm re-opening the Lincoln case." Politics "I look just like Nixon when I'm naked." Dining "How's the knish?" Fashion "Let's talk about body piercing--traigus rings are sooooo gauche." Arts "Wanna see the tattoo on my butt?" Sports "I think Cowlings did it." Music "Lawrence Welk is the real king." Sex "Yes!" Travel "I went to the City last night. Cool." Linguistics "I think `Hijo di la flauta' means something bad in Italian." Philosophy "Who do you think you are any-way?" Drugs "Do you have any Kaopectate?"
If at any time during your date you feel nervous, afraid, or likely to crash and burn remember to stay calm and recite the following phrase three times (in your head):
I am attractive. I am smart. I have satisfying sexual organ geometries. I am witty. I am cute. I give good head. I smell nice. My parents love me.