Entry Level Mistress sought by Gardener for repentant weeding and soiling. Must supply your own hoes, hose, and ho’s.

STELLA!!! Where are you??

Let the Paddle Seduce You!! Ping-Pong aficiando looking for a partner with a sturdy shaft and smooth balls.

Wanted: U.S. Senate seat. Willing to pay any price.
–M. Huffington

Wanted: Berkeley City Council seat. Willing to pay any price.
–M. Pulisci

Ready to Rim You — SRM seeks EECS major to spoil. Will keep you rolling in chips and wires, baby. Restroom, 2nd Floor, Soda Hall, Thursday a.m. You bring the bottle, I’ll bring the opener, and we’ll both spill the fizz.

Hi! I’m straight. Hello? Is there anybody out there?

Herpes?! Darn, Me, Too. Let’s discuss our legions of lesions, and let’s play braille with our sores!

Looking for a woman who can handle a big stick. Must be into handcuffs and ruff play. Contact UCPD Lt. John D. Lightfoot.

Do you like Dogs?? Woof! Must be T.I.C.S. negative.

Respectable producer hopes to put on an avant-garde production of “Mack/Beth” seeks young actresses, ages 22-26. Large breasts a plus. Nudity required. Must ride a horse.