Biased, Fragmented Political Coverage

Here at the Squelch we understand that we have a responsibility to provide the Berkeley community with biased, fragmented political coverage. To demonstrate our commitment to that goal, we have attained copies of the national budgets proposed by various political figures, elected and otherwise. Here are some key proposals:



         Bill Clinton 

         Hillary Clinton 

         Newt Gingrich 

         Marion Berry 

         Ronald Reagan 


         Yes, yes, oh god yes! 

         Lower Taxes on failed Arkansas real estate ventures 

         Only on people who refuse to work 

         Tax deductions for crack purchases 

         I prefer the subway 


         Jail Jennifer Flowers 

         Jail Chelsea's orthodontist 


         Leniency and elected office for all crack users 

         I like naps 


         Increase Immigration, especially chicks 

         Deport every third rupublican 

         See above 

         Go ahead and cross the border, and bring some crack 



         Subsidies for Big Mac growers 

         Think of something funny for this. Go ahead, we dare you. 

         Consolidate crop burning with book burning to save federal funds 

         Subsidies for crack growers 

         I once played a farmer 







         Social Programs 

         Encourage out of wedlock teenage pregnancies 

         Nationalized, socialized, federalized health care by the same people who run the DMV 

         "Social Program" is an oxymoron 

         Construction of new crack shelters for inner cities 

         I like "Matlock" and "Muder She Wrote" 


         Who's Paula Jones? 

         Napalm my hair dresser 

         I turned down the $ 4 million, alright? 

         Invade Colombia 

         Did you ever see "The sands of Iwo Jima"? That was good