Top Ten Features We’d Like to See on the New Macintosh

  1. Ctrl L, S, and D (gets you high)
  2. Command E (ejaculates floppy)
  3. Command P (orders you pizza)
  4. Command O (brings you Arnold Schwarzenegger)
  5. Alt Y (Psychoanalyzes you)
  6. Control U (gets you a domineering spouse)
  7. Shift command A- (Finish your paper for you)
  8. Shift E (helps you get into law school)
  9. Command (beta) (gives you Blowjob by a Norwegian girl)
  10. Command b (gives you Blowjob)