Top Ten Reasons We Fought the Civil War

  1. “Tastes great” / “Less filling”
  2. To provide the inspiration for the Franklin Mint(tm) Civil War Chess
  3. So that white men could only exploit women and animals.
  4. The North was feeling rejected.
  5. The devil made us do it.
  6. Oil. (oops, wrong war.)
  7. To provide endless material for T.V. movies.
  8. English professors really wanted to have Red Badge of Courage.
  9. Nobody wanted to redraw the map of the United States.
  10. To free the slaves.