Features
- My Date with Ola Ray
- My First Time
- THE ALPHA MALE!!
- My Adventure at Berkeley Bowl!
- Restroom Etiquette
- Tips For Time Travelers
- Words From the Top
- Boo Cal Band, Boo
- Am I Cooler than a Former Sitcom Star?
- LeVar Burton Has No Friends
Newsflashes
- Guitar Solo Fades Out
- Jews Denounce Hitlur
- Santana to Collaborate on Next Album
- God Sued for Creating Idiots
- Ole Timey Signage Not Olde Thimey Enough
- Spongebob Absorbs Controversy
- New Findings Indicative of Squirrels’ Cuteness
- Bates Apologizes for Mass Killings
- Overused Name Becomes Worn Out
Top Tens
- Top Ten Reasons to Get Naked
- Top Ten Things People Find At Cal
- Top Ten Replacements for Rock, Paper, Scissors
- Top Ten Reasons to Screw in a Light Bulb
- Top Ten People We Wished Taught Classes at Cal
- Top Ten Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Your Gynecologist
- Top Ten Things to Do With Five Minutes Left
- Top Ten Terrorist Pick-up Lines
- Top Ten Things a Frat Boy Would Do With a Time Machine
