A Swashbuckling Scene from the High Seas

It is the briny deck of the buccaneer galleon, “The Blackart.” The dread Jolly Roger is flying atop the mizzenmast. In the background can be seen the swells of the treacherous deep. A rowboat approaches the vessel and its lone passenger is hoisted up along with a heavy trunk. He is a dark pirate, garbed in the full regalia becoming to one such as himself: pantaloons and a gentleman’s cloak, jewels, diamonds, and a fearsome eyepatch. He approaches the captain and speaks.

Dark Pirate: Ahoy! I have returned from the Spice Isles with a wond’rous booty, the likes of which has ne’er been dreamed by a seadog like yourself!

Captain: Is that right? (Chuckles).

DP: How now? If it be not my words that convince ye, let me jewels speak for themselves! (Makes for his trunk).

C: So, you say you’ll be showing me your booty?

DP: Aye! Though I keep it close to me heart. But if ye lay so much as a finger ‘pon it, I’ll strike ye down where ye stand.

C: I see. So let me get this straight, I’m allowed to look at your booty, but I’m not allowed to touch it, right? (He continues chuckling while motioning to some fellow pirates to come take a look).

DP: Aye. (Pause). Why’re ye guffawing like a lusty wench?

C: Oh, no reason. (Chuckles). And you’ve got a big booty?

DP: Bigger’n been seen by the likes of you, ye scurvy shiprats!

C: (Whole pirate gang bursts into muffled laughter. They try to contain themselves but two have difficulty and have to go below decks till they can look at each other without laughing). And it’d probably be safe to say you’ve got lots of junk in the trunk, am I right?

DP: Don’t you be calling me precious cargo “junk” now.

C: No offense. (Snickers into arm. He has to stop looking at Dark Pirate for a minute before finally regaining composure). Do you need some help getting your booty on the floor?

DP: Aye, that would be a kindness. But take care lest you shake me booty.

C: But how will we get your booty on the floor if we can’t shake it? (Whole deck bursts into thunderous laughter). Oh man! You’re classic. Ok, where did you get it? Where did you get your wond’rous booty?

DP: It was easy pickin’, matey. Ya see, I took it from those what have no defenses! I snuck into a ghetto and stole all their greatest treasures. And for that, I am most proud. ‘Tis true, I be proud of me ghetto booty!

Entire ship explodes with the joyous sounds of hooting and hollering as waves of laughter ripple over the entire crew.